I know some of you guys are familiar with the convenience store staple, “The Bomb.” Basically, it’s a really big burrito. A really big microwavable burrito, of course. A fellow talks about “The Bomb” here. Now this is just funny on too many levels. The movie Waking Life doesn’t mention this burrito by name, but couldn’t have done much better than this:
Man, this must be like parallel universe night. You know that cat that was just in here, who just ran out the door? Well, he comes up to the counter, you know, and I say, “What’s the word, Turd,” and he lays down this burrito and kind of looks at me, kind of stares at me, and then he says, “I have but recently returned from the valley of the shadow of death. I am rapturously breathing in all the odors and essences of life. I’ve been to the brink of total oblivion. I remember and ferment a desire to remember everything.
So what’d you say to that?
Well, what could I say? I said if you’re going to microwave that burrito, I want you to poke holes in the plastic wrapping because they explode and I’m tired of cleaning up your little burrito doings, you dig me? Because the jalapenos dry up. They’re like little wheels.
I say all that to say this:
An alert reader sent me this link. Highlighting the paranoia that has gripped American society in general and our school systems specifically, this school in New Mexico was locked down for two hours because some kid brought a 30 inch long burrito to school as part of a class project. Somebody assumed that the large, wrapped cylinder was something deadly (you figure out the logical progression here)and next thing you know, we have snipers on the roof.
Well, maybe next time he’ll just build a cake or something.
