CharmingGeek.net Funness

The United Nations University has released a report claiming that the richest people in the world have more money and other stuff than everybody else.
There are some interesting numbers in there. According to the report, if you have net assets of more than $2200 then you’re wealthier than half the world. You’ll need $61,000 to be in the top 10% and about half a million to be among the world’s wealthiest one percent. If all the world’s wealth were pooled and distributed equally, we each get a check for about $20,000.
Additionally, you’ll find that the top percent holds 40% of the world’s total wealth, and people in the United States hold about 25% of the world’s assets, making it the wealthiest nation on earth. However, according to the report, due to some irregularity between exchange rates and purchasing power that I don’t understand, Japan may actually be wealthier.
Now that I’ve got you comparing yourself to everybody else, go over to the Global Rich List to see where you fall in the whole scheme of filthy, selfish greed. It should be noted that the Global Rich List is based on income, not wealth, and therefore is not only unrelated to the results of the UN report, but are also pretty much useless in determining how rich you are.
Granted, neither the UNU report nor the Global Rich List takes into account cost of living. There’s no doubt that we here in the US have it a lot better than people in most places in the world. I just hate the use of statistics to lump all the world’s people together financially and then make broad conclusions.
There’s something to chew on, anyway.

Thank you for the sweet tea. I’m lovin’ it.
Unfortunately, I can’t say the same for your chicken biscuit.

Dear Hardees,
Thank you for the thick burger. Can I please get one inside the Beltway?

I felt like I needed Morgan Freeman to narrate my epic journey to the office this morning.

When space shuttle Discovery launches on December 7, it will be carrying three different meals from designed by Rachael Ray. You know you’ve hit the big time when your food is freeze-dried and sent into space. Most notably, these will be the first garnished meals ever prepared for American astronauts. You can watch the video of Rachael in NASA’s test kitchen on her website.

The guitar-shaped bulge in Morgan Conatser’s clothing tipped off Clifton Lovell, owner of Guitars and Cadillacs, that there might be a crime in progress.

Alligator Bites Naked Man on Crack

With Christmas and my birthday coming up, maybe you’re looking for that perfect gift for me.
Well this probably isn’t it, but it will be received with just as much excitement.

I just discovered Peeve Pile, a place where you can post your pet peeves and read other people’s. For example: Regarding the misuse of quotation marks, particularly on signs

Like when there is a sign that says, “Welcome” – but the “Welcome” is actually in quotes on the sign, for no apparent reason. My questions is: are you quoting someone who said, “Welcome”? Or am I not actually welcome? I don’t “understand” what you are trying to “convey” here.

Finding a new dentist is a hard thing to do. That’s why I hadn’t been to the dentist since I moved to Alexandria. With changing work schedules, changing addresses, etc, it’s been hard to make that first appointment. I finally picked a dentist based solely on proximity to my crib. Turns out The Washingtonian ranked this guy as one of the best general practice dentists in the DC area. Recently I’ve talked to a couple of my best friends who also had neglected dentist visits for two or three years to find out they had several cavities in need of filling. Ouch! My appointment was yesterday, and I was pretty concerned that I was in for the same fate. So being a new patient I got to see his underling co-dentist. She was nice enough, told me I had no cavities (woot!) and had darn near perfect teeth. That didn’t stop her from poking me with any number of sharp implements and firing off all kinds of mechanical devises inside my uncomfortably agape mouth. Every time I got my tongue free, I was shouting “I’ll talk! I’ll talk!”, “Did Rumsfeld authorize this?”, and “Here’s what your PATRIOT ACT will get you!!”
Well, I got a new toothbrush out of the deal, anyway.

You might be from Williamston, NC if:

You know what priming and curing tobacco is.
You’ve ever gotten out of school because of heat.
You’ve gotten out of school for a hurricane.
You’ve gotten out of school for a snow flurry.
You know where the Roses parking lot is.
You’ve been to a fair in the Roses parking lot.
You’ve driven to Washington for a hot dog.
You go to Greenville at least once a week.
You know at least three ways to get to Greenville from your house and constantly argue about which way is the fastest.
If it’s not an island, it’s not a beach.
You have trouble breathing in Raleigh because Piedmont air is so thin.
You’ve been on a field trip to the state fair.
You’ve been to the Carolina Country Stampede.
When friends and relatives visit town, you show them the Bob Martin Agricultural Center.
You know who has the World records for speed-eating moon pies and collard greens.
You’ve ever skipped school to go hunting.
You can tell the first day of hunting season by the number of absences at school.
You know the difference between the smell of a paper mill and a hog lagoon.
Heavy traffic is a cotton picker on highway 17.
More than half a dozen of your friends worked at Piggly Wiggly.
You’ve been sledding on School Drive.
You’ve been to a “sporting event” at the armory.
You’ve walked from the Jr. High to Clark’s for an orangeade.
You know that Mast Pharmacy used to be Clarks #2.
You’ve played CB tag.
You’ve been skateboarding in Doodle Hill.
You’re upset that the yellow car wash isn’t yellow anymore.
You can name three restaurants that have been at the old Pizza Inn or the Golden Corral.
Going to a nice restaurant means the Holiday Inn.
You know you need a reservation to eat at the Holiday Inn on Sunday.
You know when it’s collard night at the R&C.
You’ve been in the Williamston Christmas Parade.
You can hum the entire Williamston High School Marching Band’s Christmas medley.
You know the who-day chant.
You’ve been to the Piney Grove homecoming.
You’ve seen Piney Grove Easter play at least three times.
You’ve eaten, played putt-putt, and seen a concert at Deadwood.
You’ve had a chili-toe at the Mai Fest.
You’ve performed at the Mai Fest.
You’ve been to a dance at the Old Mill.
Farm Life is a place, not a lifestyle.
You can tell where somebody lives based only on their last name.
You’ve had your name in the Social Scene.
When people say Green Acres, you think of the camp ground, not the TV show.
You still hear rumors about Williamston getting a Taco Bell.
You know the black side and the white side of Griffins Quick Lunch.
You’ve gotten lunch from Be-Lo.
Eli Whitney is one of the few inventors you can name.
You know that getting up to watch a fight in the cafeteria puts your french fries at risk of being stolen.