CharmingGeek.net Funness

“As jeans become accustomed to your body, whisker lines will appear. This is a sign that you and your jeans have come to a mutual understanding.”

I got up at six this morning to go to the career fair on campus. It starts at seven, and even though nobody there is really going to be hiring, I wanted to hope against hope that they would take one look at my fabulous hair and beg me to work for them. Well, just before leaving, I thought I’d check the website to find out it doesn’t start until nine. That makes more sense anyway. My floor squeaks and it’s still dark out.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove.
O, no! It is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his ending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

By coffee is a little crunchy today.

I was taking a nap this afternoon, and I had the most boring dream. I was in taking a test in what I think was a 400 level math class (it was definately math) but I couldn’t read the test. It was a combination of poor lighting and poor printing, but I couldn’t make out what the test said. Immediately I asked the prof., but she was being all stubborn, with an “I can’t answer any questions about the test” attitude. And of course, that meant that she didn’t know any better than I did. Well, and that was it. I told you it was lame.
There are new pictures, though.

You’ve ever explained to your roommate what “ghetto” means.
You hate that median in front of the gym where the fire hydrant is because it always
looks like an open parking space.
If you get up before 11 on the weekends, you allow 15 minutes to get hot water in the shower.
Your room is taller than it is wide.
You constantly ask people to repeat themselves to be heard over the fans.
On hot nights you sleep naked pass it off with your roommate as a cultural difference.
You regularly refer to soccer as “football.”

I’ve discovered the evils of ebay now. One day, two orders. I don’t feel bad yet, though. I got a good deal on two items that I can’t buy in stores; one out-of-print DVD, and one belt buckle of massive coolness. I’m just afraid I’ve opened a can of worms. Hippopotamuseses can stay under water for up to 25 minutes.

Why isn’t there more fruit juice sold? I go into a beverage type store and find all kinds of carbonated sodas and even more fermented ales and liquors, but almost no juice. That’s nature’s beverage. Only water is a more obvious thirst quencher. Well, browsing around the BP today, I found one bottle marked 100% Grape Juice so I picked it up. Outside, I found the small print. “From Concentrate…With Other Ingredients.” Okay, I’m not even going to get into the concentrate thing. We’ll just accept that one. But how can it be 100% juice if it contains other ingredients?

This evening, I walked along the brick sidewalk, eating a hotdog I had picked up at the C-store. Well, with every bite, the hotdog slid a bit toward my mouth, so by the time I got half way through the bun, there was no hotdog left, and I really didn?t mind. That?s when it hit me. THE NOTDOG!!! It?s a hotdog without the weiner. Just a bun full of tastiness. As I was enjoying a bun full of chili, onions, ketchup and mustard, I realized, ?This is the reason people eat hotdogs anyway!? Hotdog itself implies substandard meat. Nobody likes the wiener; it?s all about what you put on it. So I could start selling Notdogs. Or you could. I don?t mind, because I don?t have the initiative to do anything about it.